Well friends, my sweater is done. DONE. And I love it, but guess what? I totally messed something up again. Here’s the picture of the sweater on yours truly:
Here’s the picture that goes along with the pattern:
And by the way, the pattern is from this gorgeous book by Teva Durham:
Here’s what I think happened on the way to putting a sweater on I may never take off… The first time I started the sweater, it was too small. Way too small in every way, but especially around the arm holes. When I went back a second time to make it, I decided to use measurements that were too big for me, but that I thought would give me enough room around my arms to dance like no one is watching, just in case the mood struck. BUT, it turns out, when you pick a size too big for you, it’s actually too big. Those of you who are experts in the field of the making things that fit already know this, but for those like me, I realized I tend to interpret things that don’t need to be interpreted. This very issue came up recently as I was trying to communicate about things to do with state licensing requirements for psychologists; those rules don’t need to be interpreted. They need to be understood and executed. They are not grey, or blurry or sort-of guidelines. They are black and white rules. Just like measurements. I chose a bust size for my sweater that was six inches bigger than my actual bust size, yet I was flummoxed when I had this extra fabric on top, and the arm holes were still on the snug side!
So guess what else I learned? If the arm hole size is the problem, address that, not the bust measurements. Makes sense in retrospect, but it was only when I read another crocheter talk about adjusting the arm length for herself that I realized the subtlety of this lesson. Don’t fix what ain’t broke. But do fix what is.
The picture of me above was taken right after my husband told me we had an epic leak in our basement. There was water everywhere, and wow did that change my plans for the day. Before I went back down in the basement to shop-vac (thank GOD for those!), I asked him to please take a picture of me wearing my new sweater*, because even though it did not turn out as I had hoped (like how it looks in the picture), I like what I did to make it work for me. It’s kind of ruched now, and I added two buttons so that it can clasp higher up on the collar next to my shoulder, while the two original buttons can hold the shape. They fit perfectly through the spaces in the pattern. And while I haven’t had the chance to dance like no one is watching in my new sweater, I was able to shop-vac like a pro while wearing it. I know that wearing the brand new sweater I just an hour before completed while shop-vaccing was ridiculous, but I truly couldn’t bear to take it off. It is the first sweater I’ve made after several other attempts. I’m sorry Lisa, my dear cousin! You will get your sweater one day!
Sitting many mornings in a dark house but for the light shining on my crochet project, I did a lot of thinking about all kinds of things. I thought about how I want my daughter to have this sweater one day, and that it was her sweet little early-rising self that replaced the project in my lap many times. I thought about choices I’ve made in my life and how this life I’m living right now feels so rich in growth, reflection and opportunity for change. I’ve thought about how my approach to reading pattern directions mirrors so much of how I’ve approached other things in my life; some that could have used maybe a bit more commitment to simply understanding what was required and doing what needed to be done, while others could have used a bit more courage and freeform living. I can’t help but think now, with my modified sweater, how often in my life I over-compensated for the wrong problem, or for a problem that wasn’t mine to begin with. It’s all there, made physical in this beautiful sweater that on the first day of wearing, proved that it can stand up to hard work.
I came across this quote today while I was working on an article about regret before the leak episode:
Anyone who says you can’t make meaning of everything is wrong. Everything is connected and it’s all available for contemplation in every stitch we make.
* Can you imagine the look I got from my husband when mid-mega-leak I asked him to take a picture of me in the sweater I just finished?