Healing Handcrafting

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Summoning Creativity #1

One of the things I love about teaching is that it keeps my mind fully engaged with what I’m talking about and trying to share with other people. Something that comes up often in classes is how connected or disconnected people feel from their own creativity. On occasion, people have asked if I could offer prompts to help keep momentum going and I do it for a while, but then forget over time (same thing with working out! there must be something to unpack there). This is my attempt to not let such a request fall by the wayside.

Here’s how it will work (this is my fantasy as of now- keep me honest if slack!):

  • On the first of each month, I’ll offer some thought, idea, inspiration that is centered on summoning energy from the bottomless creative well we all have within us. I’m thinking monthly because honestly, we need time to let ideas steep and take hold, let alone play with the ideas in an effort of making/creating.
  • Some months will have insights from others who tend to their creative landscape, some will be my own thoughts, some will address those pesky things that can get in the way of efforts such as these.
  • These will never be over-complicated or expensive suggestions.
  • I’ll continue this for as long as there is something useful to say.
  • Welcomed: if you have things you do that keep your creative life energized and flowing, and you’d like to participate in the conversation, please write, comment, share! I love co-creating efforts to lift the veil off our own artistry.
  • Suggestion & Request: if you are into this idea and want to make sure not to miss one, follow this here blog! My goal is to get out a new summoning each month. And, share this with others who you think might be interested! (at the bottom of each page on this site there is a place to subscribe).

Summoning Creativity #1

These are two suggestions I’ve used in my classes and I wanted to share them here. Hope you enjoy them!

1. Make a List– make a list of 25 things that you love. Leave the list in a place where you will continue to see it and let it work on you. Are there things on your list that nudge you a little? Or pull you a little bit? Just notice what happens as you spend time with your list, imagining these loved things. Don’t overcomplicate this. It could be a color. A smell. A temperature or moisture level of the air… just tune in. Then, move towards…

2. Nurture Your Inner Judge~ aka the fear-monger– most of us have a “voice” that pops up and tells us things when we are in new territory, especially when we feel vulnerable, exposed, frustrated… I read something a while ago that really resonated with me, and it was this: our inner critic is trying to protect us from harm. When it senses we are stepping out of our comfort zone, it tries to reel us back in because it doesn’t want us to experience something that is painful, scary, or embarrassing. Chances are, this fear-monger showed up for us when we were little, and it had an important job to do. The thing about this judgy fear-monger is, it doesn’t know when to stop. And I wonder if it doesn’t know what to do with itself when it sees us taking steps into new terrain. It reminds me of how I’ve felt when my kids tried new things like skateboarding, snowboarding, etc. Inside I wished they’d just stay safe and not put themselves in harm’s way. Every part of me wanted to keep yelling, “Be careful! Slow down! STOP!!!” So I had to work on dealing with my own fear while helping them know how to responsibly do the things they want to do. This is how I think about my own inner judge. 

Now, when I hear my inner judge piping-up, I address it directly. I let it know, “we are safe and I’m just playing. Nothing bad will happen, even if what I’m making doesn’t turn out how I want it to.” I let it know that it can join me in the play and sometimes, if I remember, I thank it for trying to protect me, but that it doesn’t need to at the moment. It also doesn’t need to be banished. It can be reshaped into something more gentle. That’s when I find myself thinking about vulnerability and creativity, and where they intersect. 

For this prompt, I just ask for you to notice your fear-monger. What does it say? How have you dealt with it so far? Can you invite it to relax and look around, and see that it’s safe to explore and play?

Until next time… bradie


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Playing with Woven Material and Flowers

I’ve been busy in my studio seeing through ideas that are a continuation of themes I’ve been hanging with for a while now. I just can’t seem to get enough of loosely woven wooly fabric. I love weaving it. I love playing with it. I love how it is the perfect backdrop for a stem, a stick, a branch…

There is an Open Studio event where my space is tomorrow and I am looking forward to it. There have been a lot of projects in the flow, some of which are completed, one big one that is almost done that I’ll write about separately, and two that have finally gotten dislodged from my mind and set to looms. What a relief!

I think that’s one of the best parts of making… having an idea and finally getting it into action. Why does it take so long sometimes?


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Sweeping Away and The Wild Bits

little bits of everything
here and there
this and that
brooms sweeping away what is not ours
inviting a hold on what is
thresholds beckoning
then not letting go
interlacements revealing
the over-under dance



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Playing with my Ancestors

In my space
circling around materials and ideas
I found my great-grandparents
Not all but some,
And then it started.
Do you like this color?
Did you have this flower in your garden
That was in the back of your little house
Where you made my brother and me
The most delicious hamburgers
In a frying pan, with butter and salt?
I remember you and your dear love.
Mom told me you held hands when you slept at night.
And you, great-grandmother I never met,
Whose teacups I have but am not graceful enough to use.
Maybe you know I’d slug the coffee that could fit in that dainty piece of porcelain in one gulp,
Apologies.
I feel loved by you and can feel you through the veil.
I’m glad we got to play.

Klara and Friedrich Behind a Veil
Virginia Behind a Veil


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The Creative Process~ Article Published!

I’m delighted to share that an article I was invited to work on with the director of the Shelburne Craft School, Heather Moore, has been published in the IMAG #18 periodical from InSEA publications. It’s called, “Who Cares How it Comes Out? Pinhole Camera as Teacher and Muse”. You can find it here! It was a marvelous process, working on such an important-to-me project. The more I think about creativity, the more I think it is an essential and critical part of being human and that it ought never be treated as an afterthought. We’ve, as a species, been articulating our ideas and inspirations for millennia. To be able to think and write about how the creative process fosters community, empathy, enthusiasm, and engagement was a real pleasure. I hope you like it!


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Monday’s Musings~ Creativity and Defining Self

I spend a lot of time thinking about how we become more of ourselves in the way that Murray Bowen defined as differentiation. Simply put, differentiation is about how well we can hold on to our own thinking, even in the face of group pressure, others’ reactivity, and our own anxiety that arises in relation to these things. The better we are at regulating ourselves, the more flexible we are, and capable of maintaining equilibrium in a variety of circumstances. Conversely, the more anxious we are or become as a result of some emotional group process unfolding, the more we make decisions from a highly emotional place. Or, we find ourselves fully swimming in the waters of emotional process, and our decisions cannot be distinguished from those of the group.

Efforts to define self at any given time are the building blocks that help us develop a more differentiated stance in the world (and therefore less fused with the intensity of whatever system we are within). Checking in on, and keeping track of, what we think on any given topic is one way of doing this. For example, as I raise my kids, who are both teenagers now, I can defer to others and find out what they say is the right way to raise a kid and follow their prescription for how to do it, or I can think something like, “what is important to me as I parent my children through their teens, and how do I view my role in their journey towards adulthood?” And I think on it. And I answer the questions. Some of my answers might be informed by information I garner from people whose opinions I value. But first, they are run through the filter of my intellect. What do I think about what they think?

I’d love to say that I am able to do this all the time, but news flash: I’m a reactive person who’s been working on myself for years, and my success rate of defining my own thinking to myself before reacting to something is… well… it depends on the circumstances!

Anyway, this is where the bridge to my thinking on creativity appears on the map of my journey in this life. I think that by tending to our own creativity, we are greasing the gears of differentiation.

Here’s why:

Creativity involves having the spark of an idea. Anything new, innovative, functional, delicious, beautifully made or arranged, etc., happened because someone, somewhere, had an idea. And it didn’t end there. The idea became an action. “What if I do this?” became… “Check this out!” Suddenly, we had sculpted pots to hold things, woven or sewn materials to warm, adorn, protect, sail, contain, and tools to carve, cut, and shape… that spark of an idea is the seed of all that we have, for better or worse.

I see micro-expressions of this very thing in my own creative practice and in the conversations I have with other makers. As a weaver, I must make so many little choices, so many nuanced moves, adjustments, decisions. Each one is an articulation of an idea, an opinion, a preference. And while I learn from incredible teachers, like Rebecca Mezoff and Elizabeth Buckley, I also have to assimilate their teachings into my own mind and decision-making process. I think that when we have these opportunities in our lives to articulate choice and preference, we have ever more chance to articulate ourselves back to ourselves and to others! It’s amazing.

Why is this important? Because we all need to be doing our best thinking. Really, we should be trying to do this all the time, but especially if we are living in places that are in turmoil. The likelihood of losing track of our own critical thinking and judgment in the face of high intensity societal emotional process is increased. The more we are aware of this, the more we can keep our hands on the steering wheel of our own decisions, lives, and futures.

The more we know our own minds and tend to the sparks of our ideas, the more engaged we will be as a whole self.

And, the more of a whole self we are, the more choice we will have.

Bowen Theory Information:

https://www.thebowencenter.org/societal-emotional-process

https://www.vermontcenterforfamilystudies.org


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Monday’s Musings~ We Create While Living Within

Where to begin, I don’t know. There’s so much happening right now in our country (I live in the US) and in our world. Like many people I know, I’ve been working hard to find my bearings on ground that is rocking, shifting, cracking. It’s been disorienting and personally extraordinarily upsetting. The recklessness with which the potus and his posse are thrashing about in their positions of power, pushing themselves into spaces with no ounce of decorum or respect for people or institutions is profoundly disturbing on a level that’s been hard to assimilate on the daily. Damn near impossible. It’s also felt completely impossible to write about handcrafting on it’s own, as if my relationship with creativity is separate from my experience of being a human on the planet. So, I’m not going to try to separate these things from each other.

Most of us knitters, crocheters, weavers, know about sitting with a basket of tangled up balls and skeins of yarn. It’s a commitment to sit with the basket of threads, and calmly pull, disentangle, wrap, sort and save this most important ingredient for making. We don’t just throw away the yarn because it’s too hard to clean up. We commit to cleaning up the mess we created by not being mindful enough as we used our most prized resource.

This is where we are.

In no particular order, I’ll share some things I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe these thoughts will resonate with you. Maybe you’ll disagree with some of them. Maybe all. That’s okay. We need to be able to engage in civil discourse to straighten up this tangled mess. I’ll love to hear about your thoughts, too, as you navigate this complex world we live in.

~ I think the way I feel now with the current administration in the White House is making me feel distress to a health impacting level, and this is something I’m addressing. I think this is how others have felt when democrats were in the presidential seat, and especially when dems had control of the House and Senate. This got me thinking about how terrible it is that our country is so divided and manipulated, that many of us feel distressed enough and unsafe enough when “the other side is in power” that we are driven to distraction. This has created such a powerful reality of othering that we, as a nation, are actually sick.

~ The current administration is masterful at othering. What do I mean by othering? Oxford dictionary defines “othering” as this: “to view or treat a person or group of people as intrinsically different or alien to oneself.” Humans do this all the time and in fact it is this brutal trait that has led to the worst atrocities in history. Othering lets humans hurt, use, humiliate, frighten, control, dominate, isolate, and destroy humans. All living things, in fact. When we are unconscious of the othering we do, we are swimming in the waters of destruction. When othering is paired with denial of our own darkness, we are legitimately dangerous. That is why it is so critically important to strive towards being a conscious human being, as honest with ourselves as we can possibly tolerate. When we can look at ourselves and see the truth of being human in all of its beauty and ugliness, we have far greater capacity to make reasoned choices that don’t assault another’s integrity. What we seem to be witnessing is othering paired with unconsciousness. This is a big problem. It is critical that we each do our own good thinking about how we want to treat people and how we would want to be treated if we were, for example, forced to migrate, needed medical care we couldn’t access because of government ideology, were suddenly terminated from our jobs, were punished for disagreeing with a person in power, were told we were safe and suddenly we weren’t. We have to think with our minds and our hearts. We have to dip our ladle in the well of empathy. We have to take ourselves out of us-and-them thinking, and move towards the profound and generative We.

~ We are in an abuse cycle with the current administration. When abusers have power over their victims, one of the things they do is separate them from their support structures through various means. Sometimes it’s literally through physical separation. Often it’s through relational manipulation and gaslighting. This is happening. We are actively getting separated from our world partners in ways that will have far reaching consequences. Being trapped in an abuse cycle can cause a person to lose touch with their own agency and personal power. It is very important to pay attention to your thoughts about your own agency. We all have choice, every moment of every day, around where we will put our energies and focus.

~ Pay attention to those who are in positions of power and are using them for good and are resisting the onslaught of action in the current administration. They are strong, courageous, and inspiring. I’ve been thinking a lot about the energy they will need to keep at it, and about how I might help support their efforts. How can we offer positive, encouraging energy to the folks who are looking out for all people from within their positions of power?

~ We don’t have to know the solutions to all the problems in order to have an opinion about them. This comes up a lot now and is simply a distraction. “Well, what would YOU do about immigration and the border”, for example. As if, by not having a fully vetted plan of action that is doable makes one’s opinion less valid. Don’t be silenced by that. There are countless intelligent people on this planet, all of whom bring different skills to the table, all of whom are capable of solving complex problems, especially when working together. You and I included! Do you need to know how to solve all the problems in order to view mass-deportations as intensely problematic, for example? No. Most of the issues we face as a culture are very complex and require evolution of the mind and psyche. We must continue to think creatively and from a conscious, curious, honest place. This is not being naive. It is being a participant in the artistry of life.

~ Self-care is massively important right now. I say this as someone who has been struggling. Despair started to get the best of me, but what I know is ultimately, that does nothing good. I know how to pick myself up by my bootstraps and that’s what I’m doing now. Writing here is one effort towards that end. Getting clear on my own thinking, focusing on areas I have agency over while learning about others I’ve not considered is another. I’m thinking about where I shop, what platforms I use, what organizations I want to support. I’m learning. I’m cutting out the chaff. I’m also doing things I love, like spending time with people dear to me, weaving, creating, teaching. I’m resting, getting outside more, and trying to focus on what is right in front of me. I’m reaching out for support and guidance from my mentors and guides, and they are helping me, too. A great deal. We are not meant to go life alone.

We create while living within and as a part of. We are not islands, and we are not separate. We are part of this whole thing, this whole story. It’s incredible and amazing and often overwhelming. We can only keep coming back to our center, by really asking ourselves what is most essential to us, as human beings, about being human?

Take good care,

~ bradie


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Hey. How Are You?

No really. How are you?

A friend of mine mentioned the other day that I hadn’t written here in a bit. She’s known me long enough to recognize a pattern of mine which is that I do a pretty full retreat from online things when there’s something I’m sorting out. I got to talk about the things that I’ve been chewing on, and she listened. She also said she missed seeing what I’m up to when it comes to making things. This was a beautiful nudge. Very well-rounded.

Grief, as you likely already know, takes its toll on people. As someone who’s written a lot about grief, a whole book in fact, you’d think maybe I’d know some tricks on how to navigate the experience with greater ease. But I’m here to tell you, there are no easy ways through the process. In all my writing, talking, supporting, and expressing, never once do I suggest there is a “get-through-grief-the-easy-way” option. It is simply something we must go through, feel, adapt to, and be chiseled by. Ultimately, we are charged with getting to know ourselves and others in our new form, as someone changed by what we’ve experienced.

I’ve noticed about myself that when I’m swimming in the grief waters, I need to take some steps back from those things that put me out there into the world. Certain aspects of grief make me feel like I’m a flipped over turtle, and the last thing I need in those circumstances is to feel more vulnerable during those times.

As we approach the year anniversary of when my dad died, we are also making our way through cold winter here in Vermont. In a few days, it will be February 1, Imbolc, which marks the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. This is when, in the Northern Hemisphere, the light starts to shift and come back. Many are thinking about the seeds they’re going to start indoors in preparation for the spring plantings. The goddess Brigid is honored in her many forms. We are invited to clean our houses, set our intentions, and think about what we want to bring into fruition in the coming growing cycles.

sun snow…

I will be honoring both of these events. I feel ready for the light to come back after relishing resting in the dark.

Creative life has been full all these months. I’ve been teaching at the Shelburne Craft School, a place that has truly become a home away from home. I also have spent time with folks in my studio, supporting their weaving journey. I’m taking a tapestry weaving class with Elizabeth Buckley, all about weaving water. I am learning so much!

my first attempt to weave reflections in water… not easy, my friends. I have a ways to go, but I’m loving the class.

I have a lot of little projects going on as well, including a new daily weaving practice that has absolutely no plan, so we’ll see how it goes.

Oh, and I made some block prints…

I’m creating things for a new class I’ll be offering called Wild Weaving, where we get to blast out our creativity and impulses into the embrace of a waiting warp.

And, I’m developing an online class as part of our Weaving Your Story programming through the craft school. This is a curriculum I’ve been developing for a couple of years and has become a very important part of my life.

All amazing work to get to be doing!

I still need to finish weaving some towels so I can get started on a new installation idea that won’t let go of my imagination. That is a project I’ll be planting seeds for soon, in hopes that it will be born over the summer months. You heard it here first! It’s got ties to this piece that was in a show in South Burlington last year.

Creative energy builds when we learn how to rest in the ways we need.

That’s it for now. Thank you, dear friend, for asking for an update.


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You Still There? I’m Still Here.

Has it really been since March since I’ve written? I’ve been meaning to, but honestly, it’s really hard to extrovert (which in my mind includes putting parts of myself out into the world) when grieving. I’ve needed a lot of quiet, a lot of time alone, and not at all any “shoulds” where possible; just simply to have time to be in my own headspace, at least more than I typically am able. That all being said, I’ve missed writing here. I’ve come to look at this website/blog as the place that holds evidence of my thinking and ideas.

I’m grateful to you for tuning in.

Some updates: I was asked to participate in a group art show entitled Interwoven at the South Burlington Public Art Gallery , and I wholeheartedly said yes. I’d been working on some projects and it was just the impetus I needed to really focus and bring them into being. Most everything I make has to do with something I’m working out in my psyche and the pieces I made for this are no exception. Three are hand knit and three are handwoven. I’ll love to share them with you. The show’s opening is on September 11. I’ll post more about that soon.

Evidence of Significant Repair

Wearing Away

Hema Thríno

Rhythms

Winter of Our Discontent
Soil

My wooly, woven pieces are actually curtains but could also be wall hangings. I love playing with the idea of warm and bold wool being woven in an airy, light-filled way. I was in my studio yesterday and the window was open, allowing Winter of Our Discontent to flow and move and I smiled, seeing it dance just the way I’d hoped. I’ll write separately about each piece to introduce them simply and properly in the next week or two.

Also happening lately is the spinning of wool while listening to Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ The Power of the Crone. I highly recommend listening to her wonderful stories. Pairing that with spinning is like eating dark chocolate while sipping a hot coffee. Perfection.

I got to dress up for a dear friend’s beautiful event thrown to raise money to develop a space that supports deep creativity and the arts…

And I got glasses- suddenly everything looks crisp and clear again… dang, that was a slow motion slippery slope…

I played with paint and yarn…

And had a lot of my work hung at the Pierson Library in Shelburne…

And did all kinds of fibery things with the Shelburne Craft School, my home away from home…

So, now that we’re all caught up (is that ever really possible?), I’ll love to know what you’ve been working on, thinking about, gearing up to do.

Until next time…

~ bradie


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2024 Came Out Swinging

It’s a rainy Friday – rain in January? In Vermont?

It’s been too long since I’ve recorded here my progress and process in weaving, and there’s so many reasons for that of late. Let’s just say 2023 went out with an epic attitude problem and 2024 picked up the baton and leveled some more painful life experiences.

I’d like to acknowledge here that the person who taught me to knit, my step-grandmother who has been in my life since I was 9, passed away on January 7. Her name is Marion Bogdanski (née Trio). I remember vividly when Nanny started teaching me to knit. She was so patient and encouraging, always urging me to relax my hands and loosen my stitches so I wouldn’t have to force the knitting needle into the fabric for every new stitch. Nanny’s mother, Nana, lived with her for time. Nana was from Sicily, and I remember thinking she was amazing- little and delicate and lovely. She would sit and knit, too, me at her feet. I’d hear behind me the click, click, click of the knitting needles going so fast. I remember thinking that one day I’ll be able to knit like that. Still hasn’t happened, but those memories of learning from Nanny and Nana are precious to me and I suspect have a lot to do with how I ended up loving fiber art and craft so much. Also, I must mention that Nanny made the best pancakes ever and I will make homemade pizza and fried dough every New Year’s Eve in her memory. Doing that with Nanny on NYE are some of my favorite memories with her, as well as watching old movies, listening to her stories, playing cards, and getting cooking tips. So many times when I’d need to make something good, I’d call Nanny and ask, how do you do this or that, and she’d take the time and explain every step to me and tell me exactly what to get at the store. That’s so generous. I hope she is dancing and singing with her wonderful Henry and all of her family and friends who left before her. Isn’t she so beautiful?

Another event that has happened in this new year that is especially relevant to the point of this blog is to do with arthritis, believe it or not. This is a topic that I hope to pick up in some depth in the coming months or years. Arthritis doesn’t go away, after all, but more is something to tend to, know about, live in accordance with, and adapt to. In short, I have osteoarthritis which often invites statements like, “well, you’re getting older, and aches and pains are part of it” or “that’s just normal aging”, even from doctors. I have to say I’ve found this entirely unsatisfying. I’ve noticed over the last few years a significant shift in how osteoarthritis in my fingers and hands is affecting my ability to do things that are important to me, namely weaving and teaching weaving.

The way arthritis has been affecting me for the last couple of years is in pain, bending of fingers, and the development of cysts that are doing their best to respond to the impacts of bone spurs that are doing their best to deal with the fact that there’s nothing in between certain of my finger joints. These cysts can often be ignored but one of mine went rogue and became an ongoing issue in September, resulting in the need to have them surgically removed. I had this minor surgery just over two weeks ago and am continuing to heal. Today I was able to tie my shoes using my healing fingers, which felt like a big deal.

What’s the point of sharing all this? Well, I know there are a lot of artists and crafters out there who have arthritis. And I am learning very deeply what it is like to have a physical condition that affects what you can do, how you feel about yourself and your future, and that simply hurts sometimes. As I climb out of feeling really bogged down by the discomfort of post-surgical healing, I realize that I want to move into this space of learning more deeply. I want to know how to better care for myself so that I can keep doing things that I love. I also want to learn more about how to help others do the same, no matter what condition they are dealing with.

I didn’t realize how much I loved weaving until I couldn’t weave. I didn’t realize how much I loved teaching until I thought I might not be able to. I didn’t realize how many people were out there, wanting to make, create, express, and share their light with the world who for one reason or another can’t or don’t know how to modify things in a way that allows them to keep at it. To put it simply, going through all this has cracked my heart open even more. Just like grief has.

Soon I’ll write about some projects I was able to finish before the surgery and talk about some other things I’m working on and thinking about. Until then, I’d love to hear from you if you are managing a condition that has affected or affects how you create and express yourself. Who knows- maybe a larger conversation can start where others can find support and new ideas when they are struggling.

p.s. I found this website about arthritis really helpful.

The Long Grief Journey