Healing Handcrafting

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Summoning Creativity #9 ~ How Did You Do That?

I am on a plane right now, heading back to the Northeast US from Mexico. I was invited to go on the trip by the director of the Shelburne Craft School, Heather Moore, and was able to bring my daughter. Heather had her family with her, too.

The purpose of our trip was to scout for artisans and opportunities in order to build a travel program for a group next year. We visited the Espadas family who are carrying forward ancient Maya pottery methods in Uayma, an embroider named Perla who is studying and practicing traditional stitching methods (she can be reached via Murem in Valladolid), a basket weaver named Mariano Chi in Ebtún, and a weaver, Dominga Cen, in Tixhualactún (she can also be reached via Murem). I’d also hoped to meet with Silvia of Bolsas Yaax Kiw who makes gorgeous bags out of henequen fibers, but due to my overshooting my relationship with habanero peppers and the consequences of that, plans shifted and time ran out. I really regret that, as her work is gorgeous. Silvia can be found here.

I was often overcome with emotion, in the presence of those sharing their art and craft with us, with so much generosity and care. I felt very lucky, and very much aware of the fact that I was experiencing something unusual and precious. If you are on Instagram and feel like seeing some of my posts on our trip, you can find them here.

Leading up to the trip, I’d been thinking about what brings people together and what separates them. I thought about the fact that I don’t speak Spanish and here I was, going to meet people to learn about their art. I was trusting that the artisans we were meeting with would be able to show us what they do, and if we were paying attention, we could learn without words, and ask for clarification through hand gestures and facial expressions.

We could express the question, “how did you do that?” and a bridge would be formed. Of that I was certain.

Tey Mariana Stiteler, who directs the beautiful  Murem – Museo de Ropa Etnica de Mexico in Valladolid was instrumental in linking us up with three of the four artisans we met with, and she translated for us the whole time! And in Uayma, we had this excellent translator and guide. Even still, there were countless moments when, just by watching, listening, and absorbing, we were learning and connecting and understanding each other even without translation.

“How did you do that?” became the bridge I’d imagined between people interested in each other.

It was beautiful. These experiences expanded my mind and stretched my heart.

For this month’s Summoning Creativity theme, we are looking at ways to dive into a “how did you do that?” mindset. There are no specific requirements that have to do with travel if that’s not in the cards. But look around. See if you notice anything that someone made that you think is cool, interesting, unique… whatever! If you can, ask that person how they made what they made! You don’t even have to do the thing itself if you don’t want to!

Just don’t stop with the observation of the thing. Take it step further and wonder at it, ask about it, and see what happens.

Maybe there is an artisan market in your area that highlights work from your region as well as places around the world. Check it out! Ask a question.

Maybe there’s a family member who makes a delicious dish that you only eat at their house. Ask them how they make it!

Maybe there’s a person nearby with a beautiful flower garden and you’ve admired something in it. Ask them what the plant is or how they go about a specific gardening task.

Maybe there’s someone who knit/crocheted/felted/or wove a piece of clothing. Ask them about the pattern or draft and see what they say.

You get the idea! When we notice what others are creating and making and we take an interest in those things, we are connecting in a way that is higher and freer than so many other things we are encumbered by these days.

I hope in this coming month, you get to experience that sparkly moment between yourself and another person, maybe someone you never would have met or talked to had you not noticed something they made. If you end up having a cool experience as a result of asking, “how did you do that?” please share it with me! I’ll love to hear the story!

Until next time,

Bradie


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Summoning Creativity #8 ~ Spring’s Threshold

Today into tomorrow is known as many things: Imbolc, St. Brigid’s Day, the Feast of Brigid to name a few. In the northern hemisphere, it marks the time between the winter solstice and the spring equinox and is a time when there are glimmers of warmer times to come. Right now it is 2 degrees Fahrenheit where I live, so temperature-wise, spring might be hard to sense, but there is a noticeable lightening of the sky and certain bird songs remind me that we are part of a cycle, always.

Photo by Aaron J Hill

The ancient Goddess Brigid is associated with poetry, smithing, fertility, keening, and protection. There are many more aspects of her and this would be a lovely time to read up on her. Just looking at those associations, I notice that they are all to do with creation/creativity, keeping that which is grown and cherished safe, and grief. A full cycle embodied in one goddess.

For this month’s Summoning Creativity post, I thought it might be fun to play with words as a way of interacting with the Goddess Brigid’s poetry aspect. Expression of self through words carries significant energy- we take what is in our minds, hearts, bodies and put it through the fires of wordsmithing to communicate with other minds, hearts, and bodies.

One need not write a poem to engage with this energy, but certainly you can! Below I’ll list some ideas to take on today and for this month to work with the power of words. We know all too well that words can work to elevate and express love, can serve as acts of resistance, can illustrate passions, can take us to places in our imaginations that were, prior to reading them, unknown. Words can also be used to attack, harm, humiliate, and isolate others. We must always be responsible for choosing our words.

As we head into the time when winter releases its grip and spring pushes to emerge into new life and new growth, let’s play with words and see what happens.

Photo by Viktoria Emilia

Some ideas:
~ Write down one word a day that is of interest to you and put it in a location where you will see it and be reminded to think of it. Look up the definition and the etymology of the word and see what comes to mind. If a word doesn’t come to mind, flip through a dictionary or book you have around and open to a page. Wherever your eyes naturally find themselves on the page, choose a word.
~ Write a letter to someone- the paper kind! And mail it!
~ Write a poem.
~ Read a poem.
~ Write a word and think about what color it is. Play with that. Maybe paint around it, draw the word, or weave it!
~ Perhaps there’s an email that could be sent to a state politician that implores them to consider a different point of view? Or that supports them in continuing the fight that they are in?
~ Listen to an author read something they wrote or they love.
~ Consider how you would like to use your words to communicate with people in the coming months. Is there anything that you’d like to express that has been hard to put in to words? Call on Brigid’s smithing and fire energies and apply them to working with expression.
~ Look to the sky whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and/or the creative spark is tired or feels far away and breathe. Say one word (or more) that describes what you see. Does it elevate you? or sadden you? Let your eyes find something to rest on that is neutral and simply describe what you see with no judgement. Just be. See what happens…

Enjoy the process of playing with the power of words! See how they feel as you say them, write them, hear them. And look for those signs of spring!

Until next time,

~ bradie


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Summoning Creativity #7~ Slow Growth, Slow Healing

My post is late this month because I’ve hurt my back something wicked and it’s really had me down for the count. Life has been very full and I’ve not been terribly good at following the advice that is the title of this post. This month’s Summoning Creativity effort is offered to me as much as it is to you.

I came across a quote recently that is in this marvelous book called Mystical Stitches: Embroidery for Personal Empowerment and Magical Embellishment by Christi Johnson.

Christi wrote,

Until recent history, the slow growth reflected in the natural world and in the required crafts of daily living was all there was. Our bodies and minds evolved thanks to, and in support of, slow growth. Today, we live in a culture that not only makes it possible to force growth but often expects it. While we don’t have to eschew technological or human progress, we must weave the appreciation for slow growth back into the tapestry of our lives if we hope to move toward a more harmonious relationship with the natural environment that surrounds us.

This writing made me nod and exclaim out loud, “yes, thank you for this reminder”. I read it a few days before I hurt my back, and I find myself going back to it now when just sitting to weave or stitch or even read is somewhat challenging because there is no comfortable position I can be in for very long.

Applying these words to my own healing is a learning edge to me. Over the last several years, I’ve had several injuries and physical realities that have forced me to reckon with the impatience I have with my own body. While I relish slow growth, slow healing is a whole other matter. I’ve got a lot of work to do there.

And once again, I have the opportunity to reckon with this issue of mine.

How will I do it?

My current thinking is to relate to the pain I’m feeling in a visual way. I want to look at images of the muscles, nerves and vertebrae that are communicating with me. Maybe I’ll draw them, or stitch them, or at some point, weave them. I will add color and texture to impatience, to my tendency to force healing on myself (which never works), and I will try to relate to the parts of me that have some slow growing to do, namely patience with and compassion for… me.

So, here we go.

Do you have health issues that impact your making? How do you reckon with these themes?

Until next time,
~ bradie


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Summoning Creativity #5~ Hearing From People Who Create

I asked this question to people in my community: what is one thing you do that you feel supports your creativity and art making?

Of those that I asked, these are the responses I got back. Captured are the nuances, intricacies of humanness, and the fabulous varieties in the ways people think about and relate to their creative spirits. It’s clear: creativity is not only about making art. Creativity is energy in the relational field, with self, others, and the world in which we live.

From Donna LaPerle~

Joy feeds my creative sparks which encourages resiliency.  Knowing I have joy inside me comes through my creativity and keeps me from sinking into what I believe is insane news on the TV.  I have balance because the joy of being creative puts me in an “I can” space.  If I am experiencing joy, I am healing myself and it might reflect what I am creating in my art.  My depression has popped out of my so called, Jack in the box, through weaving and woodwork.  Looking at my stash of yarn or smelling my wood gives me hope.  Through my creativity I silently invite others to connect with their joy.  Perhaps I cannot change these crazy times but maybe we can hope for a brighter day and maybe witness just one or two smiles. 

Linda and Donna with some Wild Weaving
Donna’s Weaving & Exploration of Color Interactions

From Linda J. ~

I seek out craft and artistic visionaries who teach, inspire and nourish the creative quest and thought. Then I reflect and gather various inspiring materials, implementing the excitement into action–realizing everything is a learning opportunity and to enjoy the process.

When possible, allot time for your creativity—creativity nurtures so much of our well-being and identity; we can’t ignore that! 

From Kendra ~

I exercise my visual perception. I attentively observe my environment, forms of plants, animals, interior spaces, quality of light/colors. The more I look, the more I perceive with my eyes. 

I exercise my imagination in various ways: I imagine experiencing the world from a different physical size, how would it feel to be a tree or be a particular leaf or cat or an insect. How would I experience a tree if I lived in the soil? What’s the shape of the sensation of my skin touching another surface? What’s a visual representation – color, shape, movement – associated with a feeling or emotion? 

from Kendra ~ Virginia Oaks; the tree pictured in the back is 800 years old!
from Kendra ~ A leaf stuck in the snow and the pattern the wind and it created together. 
from Kendra ~ tea ceremony

From Steve Diffenderfer ~

I reflect on a current event, historical event, a recent interaction with a person be it emotional or cerebral, or anything else that holds my interest. I will then make a series of drawings to create context & reconcile that particular subject/idea/emotional response with at least three drawings and often twenty five or more small 5 /12″ x 8 1/2″ graphite or pen & ink drawings. (30-60 minute drawings).

When I am truly inspired, I will translate one of those drawings into a painting. (5 hours to 45 hours per painting). I am not concerned with generating artwork. I am not constantly drawing. I create visual art in yearly cycles. I play guitar every day :).

Beginning in 2020 I started exploring foreign languages and what may be lost in translation. I read a lot of Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Chekhov, Gogol, Turgenev, Pushkin, Bulgakov & Pasternak novels during the pandemic. I considered Russian literature being translated into English prose, and being reliant on a translator. I also considered the Tao Teh Ching (which I consider poetry, and have read and revisited for many years) being translated into English. This led me to begin visually considering Chinese characters (hanzi) and Hebrew characters (Ktav Ashuri) and working them into a series of artwork: using them to convey ideas & feelings outside of the spoken & written language I use in daily life.

I explore other themes along the way. I’m always interested in something.

From Krista ~

I wake up early when it is still quiet. Make a cup of coffee and have time to knit or craft.  It’s almost a meditative time for me.  In the summer, I like to knit outside and listen to the birds and morning sounds. Winter, audiobooks.

Lately, I have moved away from visual YouTube podcasts, because my attention is drawn away from my knitting to the screen.  I am more productive listening to audiobooks.  I can keep working with an eye on what I am doing while listening to a story.

From Ali W. ~

One thing I do that supports my creativity is spending time outside without an agenda- just observing, walking, or collecting natural objects. Being in the moment with nature sparks ideas and often leads to unexpected creative flow. I prefer to let myself follow instinct-whether that’s taking a walk at dusk, watching how the light changes, or making something with my hands from what I find. Those little, unplanned moments feed my creative self more than anything structured (which tends to be hard for me).

from Ali

From Jonathan Silverman~

Serendipity, play, discernment- I have no idea and every idea of what I’m doing. There is joy and humility in acquiescing to both intent and discovery. Kneading, coiling, slabbing, throwing, pinching, scraping, folding, glazing… a wonderous dance. I am in partnership with clay, sometime we are in sync, sometimes we just don’t get along. We share ideas on how to end a form, pondering from the inside out and outside in.

 

Photo by ritesh arya

What do you think? What do you do to tend to or pay attention to your own creativity? Or if you don’t, can you imagine doing one tiny thing to turn your gaze towards the creative parts of yourself?

Until next time,
bradie


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Summoning Creativity #3 ~ Engage Every Day

I’m writing to you from my porch. It’s just a few days before August 1st. I’ve been thinking about the next Summoning Creativity post for a while now. As I listen to the myriad birds engaged in their morning meetings and wonder at the frogs knocking to one another from here to there*, I can’t help but come back to the bewilderment I feel at being on Earth, doing this thing called life. Being alive. Being here as part of, and witness to, all of it. All of what is happening, all of what has been, all of what will come… here we are. Part of the story.

August in Vermont has a certain texture and moodiness to it. The sun’s height in the sky has gone through some noticeable shifts and, even with the hot days of late, there have already been moments that feel and smell like early fall. The rhythms we live in are obvious.  Yet, they can pass by with little notice if attention is not paid to the shifts.

Lest this seem like a naval-examining treatise on the passing of time, let me get to it and make the link between being human in nature and creativity.

The Link

When We Notice, We Are Engaged

When We Are Engaged, We Can Create

The Prompt for August

Engage Every Day

Yes. Every day.

Don’t go yet! This isn’t bootcamp or a fad diet. It’s an invitation to harness the energy of August and give yourself the gift of engagement with your life, your surroundings, and your beautiful creativity that is boundless and waiting for attention. Here’s what I have in mind.

~ Every single day, take a moment to be fully present in your body and mind. Let your senses guide you. Do you hear something that has you wondering? Do you see something that catches your attention? Feel a sensation on your skin? Taste something that has your tongue tingling? Smell something that makes you tilt your head?

~ Let your attention rest on something that is: neutral, pleasant, interesting, or beautiful. Yes, I’m being directive about that. ** Like students in school, we learn best when we feel and are safe. Let us give our nervous systems the gift of a moment of, at minimum, calm neutrality.

~ Observe what you have chosen to rest your attention on. At least for five minutes, study what has gotten your attention.

~ Then, following this engagement, document it. You can do this in several ways. On days that are busy and there’s just no time that feels available for more, simply write what you saw.

It can be as short and sweet as: “By my front step, I saw a web that formed a circle on the grass. It looked like a tissue from a distance. But up close, it was webby and dewy.”

Or, you can take a picture of it and print it out, if possible.

Or, you draw it, paint it, sketch it.

Or, you can research it. Using this example, I might wonder, “what makes those webs?” and then study that creature.

Or, you can make something inspired by what you’ve seen.

~ And… repeat. Every day for one month.

Why every day?!

Because when we do something every day, over time, we change our habits. And yes, it is a habit to plow through a day without noticing anything. And, it’s a habit to live every day and notice many things.

It’s a practice to let those things you observe work on you and interact with the part of you that is curious, has wonder, and wants to play.

Things that might be useful to have around:

  • An unlined notebook where you can keep sketches/drawings/writings/clippings….
  • A camera. Many folks have smartphones that have one million photos on them that they forget about. I recommend for this endeavor to print out pictures and put them in your book. If you have a printer that can do this, great. I don’t have reliable printer and ink costs a forture, so I often will order prints through the Walgreens app because I can order the prints I want and pick them up quickly. If you are only ordering one print here and there, it’s remains inexpensive. Many pharmacies and grocers have photo printing these days, and there’s no minimum number of prints necessary. My daughter also has this little polaroid camera that is pretty fun. I haven’t used it for things like this, but I think it would work great!
  • Colored pencils or pens
  • Charcoal drawing pencils
  • Portable paints
  • If you have a specific medium you like to work with, have that around and easily accessible in case you have more dedicated time to play and create.

Things to consider that might help support this practice:

  • Setting an alarm each day (with a pleasant sound, please! – no startle responses necessary for this effort!) to remind you to take a moment to engage.
  • Keeping your art book around so you are visually reminded to engage.
  • Inviting people you live with or talk to regularly to do this, too! Sometimes it’s fun to have a partner in daily efforts.

Beware of the following:

  • If you forget a day or days, don’t throw in the towel! Just get back to it. My relationship with my journal changed drastically when I decided not to make it a shame and self-hate punisher if I miss a few days or months. Shit happens, man. It’s no big thing.
  • Judgement of what you are focusing on or on what you do with it. Reminder: this is not a project to get anything specific done. It’s an invitation to engage with what resonates with you while taking it a step further and interacting with what you noticed.

What do you think? Are you game? I am! I vibe deeply with getting practical and organized in my efforts. I also don’t want to miss any of August, no matter where I am or what I’m doing. If any part of this feels too rigid for you and your nature, adjust as needed and make it work for you. Most important is to commit.

As always, I love to hear from you whether through the comments or directly, so please let me know if you take this on! I plan on sharing my thoughts about the whole thing as we make our way through the month. We’ll see what engaging every day inspires!

Until next time,

Bradie

ps- this post came a little early so you can start on August 1 if you’re so inspired!

* I think I’m hearing mink frogs but it seems like where I am is not considered part of their Vermont territory. Not sure, but a deeper dive into frog lore is in my future.

** To be clear, I am not saying the requirement is to ignore all that is happening in the world and to just “be positive, man”. What I am saying is that we need to give our nervous systems a chance to balance out, reboot, and access a sense of safety if we are actually living in a safe circumstance. With the issues we are facing, we need to do what we can to nurture ourselves so we can stay strong and grounded. 

Frogs Landscape (1575u20131580) painting high by National Gallery of Art is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0


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Monday’s Musings~ Weaving Your Story is Online!

Dear god, I say “ummmm” too much!

Why do I know this? 

Because I’m getting ready to teach my first online class that involves a lot of videos. And, as I’ve been editing them, I’ve realized, wow, I really do say “ummmm” a whole lot. It’s such a good place holder for my mouth when I need to catch up with my thoughts, but not ideal to listen to! I’m very grateful for iMovie editing features!

I’m also extremely grateful for…

~ The chance to bring Weaving Your Story to more people~ this is a class I built, drawing together my passions from years of work and study, both as a therapist and as a weaver. I feel so strongly about what weaving offers to people, aesthetically, emotionally, in community. 

~ The Shelburne Craft School, and especially its director, Heather Moore, who right out of the gate expressed interest in the way I use weaving in my work with people, and wondered if we might build a class around it. And that’s just what we did! Through that process, I’ve learned about writing grants and partnering with other organizations, while expanding my own skill set as I’ve offered this work to a larger group. I’ve also gotten to teach a dear friend and colleague, Ali Waltien, how to offer Weaving Your Story in her work. How amazing!

~

~ The Vermont Arts Council, who awarded us the Creative Aging grant.  

~ An anonymous donor who has made the class available to even more people.

~ Weaving Your Story participants who take the leap into weaving… well…  their stories! This takes courage, patience, trust, and flexibility, and with every single group, I learn and grow. 

~ My weaving teachers, Lausanne Allen, Susan Barrett Merrill, Rebecca Mezoff, Elizabeth Buckley, and Susan Powers, … I’m so fortunate to have these people as part of my weaving journey. They share and encourage, inspire, and know their craft inside and out.

~ My daughter who has been helping me learn how to make and edit videos, export, upload and put into the airwaves the online version of the class. 

That all reads like an acceptance speech! Seriously though, I’d be remiss to talk about the Weaving Your Story classes without expressing all the gratitude I feel for those who have given so much to me, so there we are. 

Now, back to editing my videos! If I can reduce my “ummmmms” by 75% or more, I think it’ll be okay. 

Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times.

~ from, Not Even Close, Tim Finn


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The Creative Process~ Article Published!

I’m delighted to share that an article I was invited to work on with the director of the Shelburne Craft School, Heather Moore, has been published in the IMAG #18 periodical from InSEA publications. It’s called, “Who Cares How it Comes Out? Pinhole Camera as Teacher and Muse”. You can find it here! It was a marvelous process, working on such an important-to-me project. The more I think about creativity, the more I think it is an essential and critical part of being human and that it ought never be treated as an afterthought. We’ve, as a species, been articulating our ideas and inspirations for millennia. To be able to think and write about how the creative process fosters community, empathy, enthusiasm, and engagement was a real pleasure. I hope you like it!


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America’s Shadow

The Shadow of America has burst forth,
Hideous in full form,
Visible to the world.
Not for the first time,
But still, this time too
Is trying our souls.
Many have known this Shadow.
Those able to see have recognized it,
Studied it,
Preached, sung, written of it.
Courageous vilified for naming it.
Truth-sayers killed for challenging it, taking it to court.
Those countless murdered by Shadow’s effects on humans in righteous denial,
Their blood is on our hands,
Fostering dis-ease until we ease ourselves into taking it on, this Shadow-illness
That, when denied becomes more itself,
Tyrannical.
To know is to descend into darkness,
Where ancient Destruction lives,
With Her corpse wall hooks,
And His poison.
No wonder there is turning away.
To face Shadow is the stuff of legend.
Legend’s heroes have scars, every one,
Valiantly earned,
Skin debt paid in the quest towards light.
The lid is blown off this American dream.
Now we must, oh we must!
Welcome the cracked open broken heart that comes with Shadow
As it swirls and climbs,
Snuffing out white-washed lies,
Engorged on delicious ignorance,
Creating and co-creating with light
Something new.
A new table where all have a place,
Eyes looking into eyes, with recognition, sorrow, love.
This time,
And again,
It is an invitation.

b. mccabe hansen

Notes:

“With Her corpse wall hooks”; references Ereshkigal, Mesopotamian goddess of death and the underworld who hangs sister/goddess Inanna on wall hooks; the myth of Inanna explores many themes, including the process of descending to darkness to face that which we have not seen or accepted within ourselves, claiming our cut-off parts.

References:

Inanna, Queen of Heaven and Earth: Her Stories and Hymns from Sumer, Diane Wolkstein & Samuel Noah Kramer

Descent to the Goddess: A Way of Initiation for Women, by Sylvia Brinton Perera

“And His poison”; references Phthonos, Greek spirit and embodiment of malicious envy.

“Is trying to our souls”: Reference to Thomas Paine’s American Crisis, December 23, 1776. Excerpt: “THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”


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Monday’s Musings~ Creativity and Defining Self

I spend a lot of time thinking about how we become more of ourselves in the way that Murray Bowen defined as differentiation. Simply put, differentiation is about how well we can hold on to our own thinking, even in the face of group pressure, others’ reactivity, and our own anxiety that arises in relation to these things. The better we are at regulating ourselves, the more flexible we are, and capable of maintaining equilibrium in a variety of circumstances. Conversely, the more anxious we are or become as a result of some emotional group process unfolding, the more we make decisions from a highly emotional place. Or, we find ourselves fully swimming in the waters of emotional process, and our decisions cannot be distinguished from those of the group.

Efforts to define self at any given time are the building blocks that help us develop a more differentiated stance in the world (and therefore less fused with the intensity of whatever system we are within). Checking in on, and keeping track of, what we think on any given topic is one way of doing this. For example, as I raise my kids, who are both teenagers now, I can defer to others and find out what they say is the right way to raise a kid and follow their prescription for how to do it, or I can think something like, “what is important to me as I parent my children through their teens, and how do I view my role in their journey towards adulthood?” And I think on it. And I answer the questions. Some of my answers might be informed by information I garner from people whose opinions I value. But first, they are run through the filter of my intellect. What do I think about what they think?

I’d love to say that I am able to do this all the time, but news flash: I’m a reactive person who’s been working on myself for years, and my success rate of defining my own thinking to myself before reacting to something is… well… it depends on the circumstances!

Anyway, this is where the bridge to my thinking on creativity appears on the map of my journey in this life. I think that by tending to our own creativity, we are greasing the gears of differentiation.

Here’s why:

Creativity involves having the spark of an idea. Anything new, innovative, functional, delicious, beautifully made or arranged, etc., happened because someone, somewhere, had an idea. And it didn’t end there. The idea became an action. “What if I do this?” became… “Check this out!” Suddenly, we had sculpted pots to hold things, woven or sewn materials to warm, adorn, protect, sail, contain, and tools to carve, cut, and shape… that spark of an idea is the seed of all that we have, for better or worse.

I see micro-expressions of this very thing in my own creative practice and in the conversations I have with other makers. As a weaver, I must make so many little choices, so many nuanced moves, adjustments, decisions. Each one is an articulation of an idea, an opinion, a preference. And while I learn from incredible teachers, like Rebecca Mezoff and Elizabeth Buckley, I also have to assimilate their teachings into my own mind and decision-making process. I think that when we have these opportunities in our lives to articulate choice and preference, we have ever more chance to articulate ourselves back to ourselves and to others! It’s amazing.

Why is this important? Because we all need to be doing our best thinking. Really, we should be trying to do this all the time, but especially if we are living in places that are in turmoil. The likelihood of losing track of our own critical thinking and judgment in the face of high intensity societal emotional process is increased. The more we are aware of this, the more we can keep our hands on the steering wheel of our own decisions, lives, and futures.

The more we know our own minds and tend to the sparks of our ideas, the more engaged we will be as a whole self.

And, the more of a whole self we are, the more choice we will have.

Bowen Theory Information:

https://www.thebowencenter.org/societal-emotional-process

https://www.vermontcenterforfamilystudies.org


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Want to Talk About Grief?

It’s a pleasure to write to you on this All Soul’s Day. I’ve got rather big news to share, and it’s in large part why I’ve been so mum over here on this blog of mine that I love so much. Some major things have been happening in my world. The one I’d love to tell you about on this day in particular, is that a book about grief I’ve been co-writing for about a year and a half was picked up by the wonderful publisher Sourcebooks. My friend and co-author Pam Blair and I couldn’t be happier. This is a book about grief over the long term, and how it can express itself in a life. There’s a little back story here. Interested?

  • Me, feeling incredibly grateful.

Pamela D. Blair co-authored “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One” with Brook Noel upwards of twenty years ago. It’s gone on to become a classic in bereavement self-help and is very useful when you are in the throes of chaotic early grief. Well, Pam and I are friends and have been for several years now. We met in the Knitting for Peace Pod I started here in Vermont and it was during one of our gatherings that I learned she also wrote a favorite book of mine called “The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Midlife and Beyond”(I highly recommend this book, too!). Anyway, fast forward a little bit, and I became a member of Pam’s writing group, and I loved it. I had to drop out of it, though, because my mother very suddenly died and I was completely wrecked. For years. I just couldn’t handle a whole lot for a long time. But, in the midst of all of that, Pam and I developed a friendship and continued to talk a lot about grief. Put two therapists together and there’s no end to what we could talk about when it comes to the complexities of being human.

I guess sometimes conversations lead to more conversations which lead to more things. At the beginning of the pandemic, Pam and I had a Zoom lunch just to check in, and she asked me if I’d be interested in co-writing a book with her about the long-lasting impact of grief. It was an immediate Yes. Yes because by then, I understood what that was like. Yes because Pam is a friend and I was so happy she considered me for the project. And Yes because I’ve learned to move towards all those things called dreams. I’ve always had a dream of being a writer. I write all the time, so it felt natural. The only reason I’d say no was fear, and if I learned anything from my mother’s death, it was to not say no to dreams. Say yes and see what happens.

Well, what has happened is, we have this book coming out in 2022, and we are in the early stages of big editing. It’s exciting, scary, a lot of work and requires ongoing soul searching. It’s a constant touchstone for me… Why write this book?

I think anyone who has suffered the loss of someone they love knows why books on long-lasting grief are important. Even though there is messaging out there that grief lasts a long time, it seems that we’ve, as a culture, internalized a certain schedule by which we need to pretty well be over it enough to not be talking about the pain we are in. In my experience as a therapist, and as a griever, that’s just not how it goes. Without there being ways we can keep our loved ones alive in our hearts and lived experience, grief simply goes underground, and we often tend to our sore spots alone. Or, sometimes we don’t know that other issues we have connect directly to the original wound of loss.

It would be easy for me to go on and on and on… but I’ll save that for the book! In the meantime, I invite you to join me in the conversation either through comments here, or via personal message. Our book came to life when we added real voices, real stories, and wisdom from people who are traversing the long road of grief themselves. If you’d like to share your story with me, I’d welcome it.

In the meantime, I’ll be sitting here, sending love to all those people who have passed away in our family, some of whom I knew, love and miss terribly, others who I never met but if not for them, I’d not be here today.

  • My All Soul’s Table