Healing Handcrafting

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Monday’s Musings~ We Create While Living Within

Where to begin, I don’t know. There’s so much happening right now in our country (I live in the US) and in our world. Like many people I know, I’ve been working hard to find my bearings on ground that is rocking, shifting, cracking. It’s been disorienting and personally extraordinarily upsetting. The recklessness with which the potus and his posse are thrashing about in their positions of power, pushing themselves into spaces with no ounce of decorum or respect for people or institutions is profoundly disturbing on a level that’s been hard to assimilate on the daily. Damn near impossible. It’s also felt completely impossible to write about handcrafting on it’s own, as if my relationship with creativity is separate from my experience of being a human on the planet. So, I’m not going to try to separate these things from each other.

Most of us knitters, crocheters, weavers, know about sitting with a basket of tangled up balls and skeins of yarn. It’s a commitment to sit with the basket of threads, and calmly pull, disentangle, wrap, sort and save this most important ingredient for making. We don’t just throw away the yarn because it’s too hard to clean up. We commit to cleaning up the mess we created by not being mindful enough as we used our most prized resource.

This is where we are.

In no particular order, I’ll share some things I’ve been thinking about lately. Maybe these thoughts will resonate with you. Maybe you’ll disagree with some of them. Maybe all. That’s okay. We need to be able to engage in civil discourse to straighten up this tangled mess. I’ll love to hear about your thoughts, too, as you navigate this complex world we live in.

~ I think the way I feel now with the current administration in the White House is making me feel distress to a health impacting level, and this is something I’m addressing. I think this is how others have felt when democrats were in the presidential seat, and especially when dems had control of the House and Senate. This got me thinking about how terrible it is that our country is so divided and manipulated, that many of us feel distressed enough and unsafe enough when “the other side is in power” that we are driven to distraction. This has created such a powerful reality of othering that we, as a nation, are actually sick.

~ The current administration is masterful at othering. What do I mean by othering? Oxford dictionary defines “othering” as this: “to view or treat a person or group of people as intrinsically different or alien to oneself.” Humans do this all the time and in fact it is this brutal trait that has led to the worst atrocities in history. Othering lets humans hurt, use, humiliate, frighten, control, dominate, isolate, and destroy humans. All living things, in fact. When we are unconscious of the othering we do, we are swimming in the waters of destruction. When othering is paired with denial of our own darkness, we are legitimately dangerous. That is why it is so critically important to strive towards being a conscious human being, as honest with ourselves as we can possibly tolerate. When we can look at ourselves and see the truth of being human in all of its beauty and ugliness, we have far greater capacity to make reasoned choices that don’t assault another’s integrity. What we seem to be witnessing is othering paired with unconsciousness. This is a big problem. It is critical that we each do our own good thinking about how we want to treat people and how we would want to be treated if we were, for example, forced to migrate, needed medical care we couldn’t access because of government ideology, were suddenly terminated from our jobs, were punished for disagreeing with a person in power, were told we were safe and suddenly we weren’t. We have to think with our minds and our hearts. We have to dip our ladle in the well of empathy. We have to take ourselves out of us-and-them thinking, and move towards the profound and generative We.

~ We are in an abuse cycle with the current administration. When abusers have power over their victims, one of the things they do is separate them from their support structures through various means. Sometimes it’s literally through physical separation. Often it’s through relational manipulation and gaslighting. This is happening. We are actively getting separated from our world partners in ways that will have far reaching consequences. Being trapped in an abuse cycle can cause a person to lose touch with their own agency and personal power. It is very important to pay attention to your thoughts about your own agency. We all have choice, every moment of every day, around where we will put our energies and focus.

~ Pay attention to those who are in positions of power and are using them for good and are resisting the onslaught of action in the current administration. They are strong, courageous, and inspiring. I’ve been thinking a lot about the energy they will need to keep at it, and about how I might help support their efforts. How can we offer positive, encouraging energy to the folks who are looking out for all people from within their positions of power?

~ We don’t have to know the solutions to all the problems in order to have an opinion about them. This comes up a lot now and is simply a distraction. “Well, what would YOU do about immigration and the border”, for example. As if, by not having a fully vetted plan of action that is doable makes one’s opinion less valid. Don’t be silenced by that. There are countless intelligent people on this planet, all of whom bring different skills to the table, all of whom are capable of solving complex problems, especially when working together. You and I included! Do you need to know how to solve all the problems in order to view mass-deportations as intensely problematic, for example? No. Most of the issues we face as a culture are very complex and require evolution of the mind and psyche. We must continue to think creatively and from a conscious, curious, honest place. This is not being naive. It is being a participant in the artistry of life.

~ Self-care is massively important right now. I say this as someone who has been struggling. Despair started to get the best of me, but what I know is ultimately, that does nothing good. I know how to pick myself up by my bootstraps and that’s what I’m doing now. Writing here is one effort towards that end. Getting clear on my own thinking, focusing on areas I have agency over while learning about others I’ve not considered is another. I’m thinking about where I shop, what platforms I use, what organizations I want to support. I’m learning. I’m cutting out the chaff. I’m also doing things I love, like spending time with people dear to me, weaving, creating, teaching. I’m resting, getting outside more, and trying to focus on what is right in front of me. I’m reaching out for support and guidance from my mentors and guides, and they are helping me, too. A great deal. We are not meant to go life alone.

We create while living within and as a part of. We are not islands, and we are not separate. We are part of this whole thing, this whole story. It’s incredible and amazing and often overwhelming. We can only keep coming back to our center, by really asking ourselves what is most essential to us, as human beings, about being human?

Take good care,

~ bradie


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Hey. How Are You?

No really. How are you?

A friend of mine mentioned the other day that I hadn’t written here in a bit. She’s known me long enough to recognize a pattern of mine which is that I do a pretty full retreat from online things when there’s something I’m sorting out. I got to talk about the things that I’ve been chewing on, and she listened. She also said she missed seeing what I’m up to when it comes to making things. This was a beautiful nudge. Very well-rounded.

Grief, as you likely already know, takes its toll on people. As someone who’s written a lot about grief, a whole book in fact, you’d think maybe I’d know some tricks on how to navigate the experience with greater ease. But I’m here to tell you, there are no easy ways through the process. In all my writing, talking, supporting, and expressing, never once do I suggest there is a “get-through-grief-the-easy-way” option. It is simply something we must go through, feel, adapt to, and be chiseled by. Ultimately, we are charged with getting to know ourselves and others in our new form, as someone changed by what we’ve experienced.

I’ve noticed about myself that when I’m swimming in the grief waters, I need to take some steps back from those things that put me out there into the world. Certain aspects of grief make me feel like I’m a flipped over turtle, and the last thing I need in those circumstances is to feel more vulnerable during those times.

As we approach the year anniversary of when my dad died, we are also making our way through cold winter here in Vermont. In a few days, it will be February 1, Imbolc, which marks the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox. This is when, in the Northern Hemisphere, the light starts to shift and come back. Many are thinking about the seeds they’re going to start indoors in preparation for the spring plantings. The goddess Brigid is honored in her many forms. We are invited to clean our houses, set our intentions, and think about what we want to bring into fruition in the coming growing cycles.

sun snow…

I will be honoring both of these events. I feel ready for the light to come back after relishing resting in the dark.

Creative life has been full all these months. I’ve been teaching at the Shelburne Craft School, a place that has truly become a home away from home. I also have spent time with folks in my studio, supporting their weaving journey. I’m taking a tapestry weaving class with Elizabeth Buckley, all about weaving water. I am learning so much!

my first attempt to weave reflections in water… not easy, my friends. I have a ways to go, but I’m loving the class.

I have a lot of little projects going on as well, including a new daily weaving practice that has absolutely no plan, so we’ll see how it goes.

Oh, and I made some block prints…

I’m creating things for a new class I’ll be offering called Wild Weaving, where we get to blast out our creativity and impulses into the embrace of a waiting warp.

And, I’m developing an online class as part of our Weaving Your Story programming through the craft school. This is a curriculum I’ve been developing for a couple of years and has become a very important part of my life.

All amazing work to get to be doing!

I still need to finish weaving some towels so I can get started on a new installation idea that won’t let go of my imagination. That is a project I’ll be planting seeds for soon, in hopes that it will be born over the summer months. You heard it here first! It’s got ties to this piece that was in a show in South Burlington last year.

Creative energy builds when we learn how to rest in the ways we need.

That’s it for now. Thank you, dear friend, for asking for an update.


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Art Show: Interwoven

I dropped off the pieces I made for the Interwoven fiber art exhibit yesterday. Walking away from things I made was an interesting feeling I’ve not had much experience with. It was both exciting and nerve wracking! I kept turning back, looking at them laying where I left them, as though I needed to say goodbye a couple more times. Or maybe just a little more fiddling, straightening, adjusting… I think it’s because each of the pieces that will be in the show was a meditation on some issue I think about or am currently wrestling with. So really, what I was leaving in someone else’s care was the physical evidence of an emotional process.

I am delighted to be in the show with three other incredible artists. What a boon!

Here is the invitation to the Opening! If you’re in the area and have an interest in fiber art, come on down!


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You Still There? I’m Still Here.

Has it really been since March since I’ve written? I’ve been meaning to, but honestly, it’s really hard to extrovert (which in my mind includes putting parts of myself out into the world) when grieving. I’ve needed a lot of quiet, a lot of time alone, and not at all any “shoulds” where possible; just simply to have time to be in my own headspace, at least more than I typically am able. That all being said, I’ve missed writing here. I’ve come to look at this website/blog as the place that holds evidence of my thinking and ideas.

I’m grateful to you for tuning in.

Some updates: I was asked to participate in a group art show entitled Interwoven at the South Burlington Public Art Gallery , and I wholeheartedly said yes. I’d been working on some projects and it was just the impetus I needed to really focus and bring them into being. Most everything I make has to do with something I’m working out in my psyche and the pieces I made for this are no exception. Three are hand knit and three are handwoven. I’ll love to share them with you. The show’s opening is on September 11. I’ll post more about that soon.

Evidence of Significant Repair

Wearing Away

Hema Thríno

Rhythms

Winter of Our Discontent
Soil

My wooly, woven pieces are actually curtains but could also be wall hangings. I love playing with the idea of warm and bold wool being woven in an airy, light-filled way. I was in my studio yesterday and the window was open, allowing Winter of Our Discontent to flow and move and I smiled, seeing it dance just the way I’d hoped. I’ll write separately about each piece to introduce them simply and properly in the next week or two.

Also happening lately is the spinning of wool while listening to Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ The Power of the Crone. I highly recommend listening to her wonderful stories. Pairing that with spinning is like eating dark chocolate while sipping a hot coffee. Perfection.

I got to dress up for a dear friend’s beautiful event thrown to raise money to develop a space that supports deep creativity and the arts…

And I got glasses- suddenly everything looks crisp and clear again… dang, that was a slow motion slippery slope…

I played with paint and yarn…

And had a lot of my work hung at the Pierson Library in Shelburne…

And did all kinds of fibery things with the Shelburne Craft School, my home away from home…

So, now that we’re all caught up (is that ever really possible?), I’ll love to know what you’ve been working on, thinking about, gearing up to do.

Until next time…

~ bradie


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Thoughts On Grief

I spend a lot of time thinking about and talking about grief. It’s part of my job as a therapist. I co-wrote a book about it. And I incorporate working through grief into certain of my weaving classes, both with groups and individuals. It’s a subject that is always relevant because all of us, at some point in our lives, barring few exceptions, lose loved ones or experience losses of other kinds, like endings of relationships, job loss, or significant life changes due to chronic illness, bankruptcy, natural disaster, war. The list is long. The news of late has been devastating and heart crushing when viewing what is happening in the Palestinian Territories and Israel. So many of us are grieving locally as well as globally. So many of us have been doing this for a long time.

There’s nothing to say about it that can take away the reality of the pain, anguish, trauma, and truth of the matter, which is that human beings can be so utterly monstrous to each other. It’s shocking, and then we must think on the reality that we have choices to make every day about how we are going to be in the world. And sometimes even the most peaceful of us disappoint ourselves. I guess that’s where the truth is, too. It’s always a choice, and always it is true that how we are to others impacts our experience of our lives and our relationships.

I’ve noticed a few things lately that might seem obvious, but that have been moving me and making me look above and beyond the chatter. These observations help me connect with my choices in a way that mitigates feelings of helplessness and despair. I’ll share them with you here.

~ There’s a lot of dialogue about how much our culture gets grief wrong and how there is this pressure on people to “get over” grief quickly. I don’t disagree with that, but I have been noticing how many individuals and organizations are out there, all over the world, talking about how grief really is, and how much it changes a person and a life. As I’ve looked more deeply into remembrance and awareness days to do with grief, I’ve seen a lot of realistic information about what grief is really like as well as how we can support others when they are struggling. I’ll write soon about an upcoming awareness day to do with grieving children. I wonder what is getting in the way of the honest messages to do with grief from landing and changing the experiences people have when they are suffering. How can we release the pressure we put on ourselves to stay the same, no matter what?

~ Giving people the space and respect they deserve and are entitled to when processing life events and grief is a wonderful thing to do. When we can get out of the mindset of having to make someone “feel better” and instead hold space for them to simply be where they are, a sort of alchemy takes place. A bridge of trust grows, and often it looks like recognition. Almost like a version of namaste, it is as though the spirit says, the grief in me sees the grief in you.

~ As I talk with and listen to people, something is becoming crystal clear: long-term grief is not always solely about the loved one lost, but sometimes is a result of the anguish of trying to get back to normal too fast, whether this is a self-imposed pressure or felt as pressure from others. As a result of that anguish, there are multiple layers of complexity piled on and on and on. As people try to find their balance and figure out a new normal after any kind of grief, part of that often entails facing the pain of how their grief was received and responded to. This is tough stuff, but it seems important to me.

~ There is something incredible that happens when people let themselves process life events through the practice of making. We do so much thinking about so many things. And I’m a fan of thinking! Thinking helps us make choices that are less reactive, more informed, and ideally lead to better outcomes than when we fly by the seat of our emotions. But… sometimes we get lost in the weeds of words and self-analyzing. Creating spaces where people can translate lived experience into artistic form works, and what we get from that is insight and healing from angles that might not have been approached if the senses weren’t involved.

~ Listening… the most wonderful kind of listening… is medicine. The kind where you’re not waiting to say the next thing, or thinking about your words as the other person is still talking. Slowing down and absorbing what someone is saying and letting it affect you or work on you in some way- this is true relating. And it doesn’t require hours, or even many minutes. It just requires deciding that the person you are engaged with is worth your time and attention. Can you imagine if we all treated everyone like that? And were treated like that all the time?

What helps us meet the people around us where they are, not where we want them to be? How do we maintain compassion, patience, love, and curiosity? The first thing that comes to mind and is the only one I want to focus on at the moment is self-compassion. Sometimes it’s just the truth that our cups will not be full before we give to others, and we can sustain that for a while. Sometimes we are tired and grieving ourselves, when we are at the same time showing up for others. And sometimes, we can’t give in the ways others want us to give or we wish we could, and we need to pull back and refocus that energy. That’s okay. It helps to remember and keep remembering that it’s not anyone’s job to take grief away from others or somehow fix the pain of it. And sometimes energy needs to go back into the self for a while before it can go out again. It’s just the way it is, and there’s nothing selfish about it. It’s okay to think about how you can show up for people at any given time, and be honest about.

How do you tend to yourself and nourish yourself as you go about life and relationships? Do you have ways you tune in and respond to your heart and body? Do you take the importance of this as seriously as you do your love for and support of others? And, when you can’t be there in the way you always have and feel worried about that, or stressed or resentful, do you have ideas about alternatives? Can you imagine communicating them?

Until next time,

Bradie


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Five Gifts of Weaving

There is something alchemical about handweaving. It connects us with ourselves, with others, and with our ancestors, recent and distant. Weaving is part of our ancestral DNA and when we allow our fingers to interlace thread with thread, we create connection and foundation. Weaving does not have to be expensive, and weaving should be accessible to all people. If we can apply resistance to threads and create a taut warp, we can weave.

I love the long arc of weaving and the incredible potential it affords. One can sit with a simple frame loom and weave wild art pieces as well as work on a multi-harness floor loom and create wondrous and complex fabric. There are so many types of weaving and looms. Multi-shaft, tapestry, backstrap, pin, circular, inkle, Rinny Tin-Tin. Over the last decade, I’ve been teaching fiber art and craft in schools and more recently at the Shelburne Craft School, and there are some thought jewels that I’ve gathered along the way that fuel me, inspire me and make me want to keep learning and expanding. I’ve shared some of them here as a way of inviting anyone who has an inkling, to try out weaving, or any art or craft you’ve longed to try but keep putting off.

People Meet Themselves When They Weave

On many occasions, I’ve had the good pleasure of hearing people say things like, “I’m usually __________ (fill in the blank), but I’m playing with being __________ (fill in the blank) as I weave this” … or “I’ve never played with so much color before and I LOVE it!” …, or “I never realized how much tension I hold in my hands” …, or “the process of weaving while I reflect on my loved one is bringing up thoughts and feelings I’ve not held space for in so long, if ever.”

When we let ourselves just be with our hands, our eyes, and our breath as we make, our spirit has a chance to catch up and settle into the space between our lungs and in all the chambers of our heart. We can hear our own breathing again. We can let our eyes linger where they want to, and then notice where that is. We can meet our inner judge and talk it down from fear. We can usher ourselves into new territory and have woven fabric to show for the journey.

People Benefit from Having Access to Colors and Textures and the Opportunity to Experiment

This may sound so obvious it’s laughable, but hear me out. Have you ever had the experience of being invited to make something, and are given a certain set of materials that everyone else has, and a series of instructions that everyone else has, and you make something at the end that looks like a weird, kind of close but disturbingly not-close version of the thing you were supposed to make? Or is that just my life? In my experience, nothing botches up creativity more than when we are in a circumstance that doesn’t let us feel and see our way through materials we want to touch and witness. I’ve been blessed with a bunch of students who “go rogue” on the regular. It’s hilarious, and it’s shown me that people have their own ideas and their own version of learning that needs to be honored and allowed for as much as possible. Yes, sometimes technical truths need to be thrown in the mix to ensure that people can weave the thing they want to weave, but I’ve learned that creative drive is strong and shouldn’t be stamped out by rigidity.

People of All Ages Need to Play

I think we all know this intuitively, but what I’ve found is that people of all ages need access to opportunities where they can experiment, follow their noses, see what happens, try this and that, on low-stake projects. As we age, many of us become concerned with how much things cost, how much “time is worth”, how useful something is, and whether there is value to whatever it is we are doing. It puts so much pressure on the creative part of ourselves that just needs a freakin’ minute to look at things, try things out, observe what happens when certain materials interact with others, and take notice of how we feel about what we are seeing and experiencing. We need the chance to just be and drop in to our flow. When teaching elementary aged people as well as folks in their senior years, I’ve heard many exclaim, “Oh wow, I get to use this?” and, “I can’t believe I can weave with all of this! It’s so much fun!”

That makes my day.

My friend and weaving teacher, Lausanne Allen, playing the fiddle while guests learned to braid using the Kumihimo method during an event at the Shelburne Craft School.

Weaving Can Be Very Simple and Very Complex

I’m hitting home runs here with obvious statements, but it’s worth saying that weaving is, at its most basic, the process of moving one material over and under and over and under another material. That’s it. Simple as that. From that foundation, we can weave the most complex and wondrous images and textiles imaginable. But it all starts with interlacing whatever it is we are weaving with. Isn’t that marvelous? Weaving is for everyone. It can be taught to people as young as nursery school age, and there is no age limit. In fact, weaving can help those dealing with the effects of stroke, dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease, as it has been shown to strengthen and encourage neuroplasticity in the brain.

When We Get to Do Things We Love, We Are Living the Universal Dream

Disclaimer: This is my view based on a whole lot of things. Feel free to take it or leave it.

If we are doing what we love at least sometimes, we can experience ourselves and share with the world our inherent gifts. There are no losers in this set-up. (Of course, I’m assuming that doing what we love doesn’t include hurting other people or living in a way that disregards others’ autonomy and integrity.) When we share what we love with others who are interested, we are giving from the place of our truest selves, because what we love is connected to who we are; the spark connected to our creativity is born from energy itself, and it interlaces with others’ creativity, like a cosmic dance. It’s amazing!

Whether it’s weaving, dancing, sculpting or singing, writing, building or baking (the list goes on and on), if we love what we are doing and sharing it with others in some way, we are putting some good energy into the world. And my friends, the world needs that big time.

Doing what we love = good medicine.

I hope whatever you are doing today includes you sharing the spark you have with the world in whatever way feels great to you. Until next time.


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Ways to Tap Into Your Creativity and Why It’s Important

I’ll share with you, right out of the gate, some positions I hold that are unshakeable:

  • It is my deepest belief that every person has creative energy within them.
  • Something wants to be expressed and realized in every human.
  • One does not need to go to art school to find and express their artistry.
  • We have a choice about how this creative energy is harnessed- generatively or destructively?

Where I live in the northeastern United States, summer brings a surge of energy that, whether felt by people or not, is always part of the environmental experience. We emerge out of cold winter. We make it through spring, which in Vermont is a weird conglomeration of less cold air, more moisture, thawing ground, a lot of mud, then a freeze, then another thaw, more mud, some warm days, then some cold days again. Finally, we make it to the time when it stays warm. The greens explode, flowers bloom, birds sing, farmer’s markets bustle, frogs fill the night sky with their croaky songs.

For me, this is typically when there is a powerful surge in my own creative energy, and in the last fifteen years or so, I’ve learned to harness it in an effort to create. What I didn’t really know before fifteen years ago, was that this is a distinct energy that needs tending to, not just when there is a surge of it, but throughout one’s life and throughout any given year, no matter the season. One doesn’t need to be an Artist with a capital A to do this. Many people know this already and live in accordance with their flow of expression. You might see it when you walk into someone’s home and they’ve decorated in a way that delights the senses. Or maybe you’ve known people who can prepare food that would make Julia Childs exclaim. Have you ever walked through a home garden where someone has lovingly tended to each of their plants and has bits of ornamentation here and there that makes you smile? In all of these ways, individuals express themselves and share what they love with the rest of us.

Of course there’s also painting, drawing, writing, weaving, knitting and crochet, sculpture, carving, repurposing, hand-stitching and sewing, dancing, metal work, singing, making music, playing… the list goes on and on.

Life for the majority of adults involves a whole lot of work, and these days, an astronomical amount of distraction from what’s right in front of us. Most heart crushingly, the thing that is severely neglected in this overstimulating culture is our relationship with ourselves.

We are someone we can get to know and have a relationship with.

This is incredibly important to understand. We can hang out with ourselves and get to know ourselves in ways that are very similar to how we hang out with other people and get to know them. How? We give ourselves time to follow our noses and let our creative energy lead the way for a bit. Julia Cameron talks about this at length in The Artist’s Way, and she specifically urges her readers to take themselves on dates. These can be outings that really don’t take a lot of time but that are just for you and you are just with yourself. This is crucial. Your date with yourself should not be time to catch up with phone calls or coffee dates. This is your time you give yourself in order to be with … you! The more you go on these dates with yourself, the more they become second nature and an important part of your life.

So, why is this important enough that I write a blog post about it? Here’s some reasons:

~ Creative energy is energy. When it is stuck, suppressed or unrecognized, it can shape-shift in ways that are not generative. Think abusive use of substances, depression, agitation, disconnection via distraction, sadness or grief for reasons that are hard to identify, living through other people and their creativity, and simply living life by going through the motions.

~ When we notice the creative energy in ourselves and tend to it, we allow for others to do the same, in whatever ways bring them joy and meaning. We learn about ourselves and others.

~ We slow down enough to engage in the moment that is right in front of us. For example, when I’m weaving, I’m only weaving. I’m not texting, doom scrolling, making dinner, talking on the phone… I’m doing this one thing that requires my full attention and I focus. Sometimes I can only do this for 20-minutes, but 20-minutes is better than 0 minutes, so I’ll take it.

~ We develop relationship with our selves. Sorry, as a therapist I’ll never not think this is important!

~ We allow the energy within us to flow up and out. I think about what one of my mentors said all the time when he was teaching. He talked about seeds and how a sunflower seed can only become a sunflower. It will never be something else, and when it is fully realized, it is wholly itself. It will never be a marigold, or a daisy or a tomato. This is how it is for people. Yet for us, many things get in the way of our original seed growing into what it is in its truest nature. Allowing for time to connect with our creativity is one way to clear the path for our true nature to grow up and into the light.

How Do I Tap Into My Creative Energy?

As promised in the title of this piece, I want to give you my go-to ideas for how to cultivate, reignite or tend to your creative life. This is not an exhaustive list and many books have been written on this. My favorite so far is The Artist’s Way, and if this topic is of interest to you, I highly recommend it.

But for now…

~ Accept the idea that you are a creative person with energy inside of you that is unique to you and is valuable to this world.

~ Accept that expressing your creativity is not selfish, meaningless or a waste of time. My teacher Susan Barrett Merrill said to me once that in fact, we do good for the world when we allow the gifts that we have to flow through us and out, and that when we take time to be with ourselves and create and make, we add that energy to our environment. She said that to me because I struggled with this one myself.

~ Make things easier for yourself. Here’s an example: If you like to paint or want to paint but think that the only way to paint is to buy all the expensive tools and materials you’ll need, and create a space in your home that is only for painting, and that you have to take a class before you start painting, and that you have to carve out a few hours every day to paint or it’s not worth it… guess what? You won’t paint. If you’re a busy person with a bustling life and lots of responsibilities that might be hard to stretch at first, start small. Twenty-five years ago, an artist friend of mine gave me these kinds of paints and this kind of paper so that I could delve into making things. He told me back then, “you are an artist”. I said, “no, I’m not at all an artist. You are an artist and I’ll leave that to you talented people out there.” Well, guess what? I still use those paints (a different set now because I used the set up!) and while I’ll not be exhibiting my watercolor paintings in any galleries, I love them and they inspire me to make other things.

~ Minimize distractions, but be realistic. One of the things that really gets in the way is the idea that “If I can’t dedicate hours to what what I want to do, then it’s not worth it.” This is a lie. There are ways to build in moments to connect with self via the creative path. Maybe there’s a day in a busy person’s life where settling in for some extended sewing isn’t possible, but a smaller handwork project is if you have a little basket with your bag of notions and some fabric. So is looking at books or magazines that inspire or teach. So is sitting on a front stoop or by a window and looking out at the world and gathering inspiration for a future project.

I wove this piece in 15 to 20 minute increments over the course of a month. It’s random and was an attempt to learn and play with color, as well as to make sure I wove “every *%$@ day”, to quote Tommye McClure Scanlin

~ Have at the ready small ways you can do the things you love. I’m taking this tapestry class right now with Rebecca Mezoff, and it’s wonderful. I now have a little bag with all the essentials to easily bust out a drawing, a note, or even a small weaving if I find myself in a place where I can create.

~ Make dates with yourself to do the larger things. And honor them. These are as important as anything else. (I think this is incredibly hard for many people.)

~ Avoid “killing time”. I wrote about this here.

~ Don’t compare yourself to others. This is top-shelf creativity energy kryptonite. Don’t do this. If you do find yourself struggling with these crushing thoughts, let your inner judge know, “It’s okay. I won’t (you fill in the blank with whatever your judge is saying). We are just playing and we are safe.” Sometimes our inner judge thinks it’s helping to protect us from something, so it needs to know that you are going to try to enjoy your creativity more and nothing bad will happen.

~ Visit local antique stores, art galleries, museums, flea markets, book stores, parks, outdoor art installations, open studio days, farmer’s markets… most of these are free and give you the opportunity to look around see what you’re drawn to.

Hopefully, if you’re still reading, I’ve made my case that it’s worth it and important to engage with your creative energy, and it doesn’t have to be expensive or unrealistically time consuming. You are a unique expression of life and within you are ways to engage with this expression so you and others can know it better. Why not go for it? Time passes whether we engage with ourselves or not, so in my view, we may as well make the most of it and see what we can create.

Until next time


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The Long Grief Journey

I can’t believe it’s finally happened, but this week I received a box of books, all of them The Long Grief Journey: How Long-Term Unresolved Grief Can Affect Your Mental Health and What You Can Do About It. In spring of 2020, my friend Pamela Blair who co-wrote I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye and is the author of several other titles, asked if I’d be interested in writing a book about long-term grief. I wrote about that moment here. And now, a month before its release (on February 14, 2023), I get to hold it and read it and show it to people. Wow. What a trip!

It’s been a long time since The Long Grief Journey was picked up by Sourcebooks and I owe a debt of gratitude to the wonderful editor who saw the value in making our work available to people and helping us to shape it and edit it well- thank you Erin! In the last year, the waiting for the book to come to print was starting to make it all feel a little bit unreal, and a little scary and then a little disorienting- wait, we’re almost at the release date?! I need to get a new outfit or something! But now, holding the book in my hands, I remember it all: the first invitation to join Pam in the project, the jumping into researching and brainstorming and writing, rewriting and collaborating, submitting and waiting and hoping and praying and now… here it is. And I am proud. Grateful and maybe even a little bewildered, too. To be able to use my own grief experience while being honored by so many people sharing their stories with us has in many ways brought an intimacy and more open heart to my day to day than ever existed before. Maybe the word is humbled? My heart feels tenderized.

If you end up reading the book, I hope you find it useful. We really are all walking this road together.


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Steadily Weaving and Learning Through Time

It’s been a minute. And not for lack of lots and lots of activity and making. Sometimes it’s hard to link together in a whole picture little bits of weaving here, some experiments there, and some growth elsewhere. One of the things I love about small format tapestry weaving, as well as weaving on unconventional looms, is that you can move them around, carry them with you, and finish them as you are able. That is the reality of my life these days. If not for moveable weaving, there’d be no weaving at all for me.

braided crone

I wove this little tapestry on a Handywoman small tapestry loom that I love so much. I take it with me most places and love it when I pull out that little number instead of my phone. It helps, to weave. Seriously.

house halved with a ghost house and a split house

I’ve had this piece going for a while. It’s part of what I hope to be a series of tapestries flowing from drawings I’ve done when sitting with the idea of moments that distinctly create a before and after. More on that at some point.

building
building some more
still building… more to come

I was on a drive recently with my daughter, soaking up beautiful Vermont autumn colors. I loved how not at all straight these grain rows are- I mean, isn’t that so reassuring? So beautiful and true?

inspiration

We always have a moment, even if it’s brief, to decide.

Decide on a sentence said or not said.

Decide on gesture extended or withheld.

Decide on a color, texture, or tension.

There’s always something to show for it.


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Weaving Air

Having several different projects going at a time is a habit I’ve gotten accustomed to over the years. I don’t have a schedule that allows me go to weave at my loom for entire days. Instead, I have bits of time here and there that I try to make good use of when I can. I used to judge this part of my nature, the part that flits from this to that. I wondered if I had a discipline problem, or some issue with commitment. Always the therapist, I’m often unpacking who I am and how I operate, and examining how my traits and tendencies impact my day-to-day life.

Well, in this case, I’ve learned that I really enjoy making things, at home, at work, on my loom, with kids, with adults, and by myself. I feel frustrated when the only thing I’m working on is not with me, leaving my hands idle and my mind clanking a bit. When I allow myself to indulge in the many-projects-at-once rhythm, I get to eventually enjoy what I refer to now as my creative crescendo; so often many things are finished around the same time and I have this wonderful experience of seeing multiple ideas and efforts come to fruition at once.

Right now, I’ve got this vibe going in full-force. There’s a curtain (hopefully) on my counterbalance loom, towels on my rigid heddle, a tapestry on my copper pipe loom, another tapestry on a small frame loom, and oh… that second mitten I’ve been wanting to finish knitting for months.

What I’m noticing about a few of my projects is that they are going after a feeling or sense experience that I can best describe as airy. I want my curtain to be as flowing and loose as I can manage weaving it, with bits of structure and form throughout. This is an experiment as I try my hand at weaving with 20/2 cotton as the warp and using inlay throughout. I’m not using a pattern or following any directions. I’ve already learned something. I have my 20/2 warp sett at 12 epi, and I originally hoped to use the same yarn for the plain weave weft; the inlay was going to be a thicker cotton slub yarn that has a yummy texture. Well, what I learned was that the fabric was just too loose. I was beating it lightly to maintain an openness and transparency. I basically wanted a curtain that blended in with air. But what I found was that if I even looked at the fabric funny, the weave drooped and flopped, making it look injured and offended. When I started considering finding a spray adhesive and shellacking the whole thing once it was done, I realized I’d maybe made a mistake, chalked it up to my steep learning curve, and switched gears. I am going to try to use the experiment to cover some beautiful handmade paper I have, so all is not lost.

Now, I’m weaving the curtain with the same warp, but with the thicker cotton slub yarn as weft, beat loosely (still finding the right beat and trying to keep it consistently). I can’t do the same inlay design I was doing because I’m using that yarn for the plain weave. I decided instead on this twine, jute-like string/rope/yarn I have and opted to just lay it in, leaving both ends exposed. This is a departure from the inlay techniques I was planning on practicing with this curtain, but that’s okay. I’ll get to them. I love the twine because you can unravel it and it becomes this wild grass-like stuff. It smells good, too. I’m hoping my curtain will still feel airy, but I suspect it will hang with a little more purpose and won’t be so vulnerable to the passing breeze or occasional handling as my original design would have been.

On my rigid heddle, I’ve got an actual pattern that I’m following. It’s another slub cotton project, this time towels. I love weaving with this yarn! It’s soft, gentle, light. Clasped weft is the main weaving technique utilized in this pattern, and it’s very satisfying to watch it build up. Getting the beat right on this project takes some doing. You can see on the bottom right that I’m beating too hard in the clasped weft section that is newly begun, but I’m working that out. I’m definitely turning into a person that uses a tape measure as a necklace! Ha! I’ll share pics of these towels when they’re done.

I’ll get to the tapestry work in another post, but for now, I hope that whatever you’re doing, there’s some room for creativity and texture, even if it’s just here and there. All those moments add up and make something, eventually.